Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Ungrateful People

Now I usually don't talk about much other than knitting crocheting or baking... But this is something that really bugs me (okay, one of the things that really bug me...) It's ungrateful people. Have you ever knitted or crocheted something for someone, and you don't even get an acknowledgement of your gift, let alone thank you? My Sister in Law is like that. I knitted a vest once for her daughter (our niece). I didn't hear one single word of acknowledgement, or thank you, or anything. When I saw her next I asked her about it, and she said something to the effect of, 'It is kind of stretchy around the neck so I didn't want her to wear it.' :O I wanted to say, 'Well give it back then. I'll find someone else who might appreciate it.' Forget 'thank you for thinking of us, and taking the time to knit her a vest', but complain about it?! Ever heard the saying 'Never look a gift horse in the mouth'? I have always tried to thank someone when they have given me something, even if it is something I know I will never wear. I teach my children to write thank you letters. If someone takes time out of their busy lives to give you something, it should be acknowledged- A simple thank you goes a long way.

Well, I have been sending things to people on an Indian Reservation for about two years now. One person in particular. I have been thinking about all the things I have made (and bought!) for her grandchildren and her. At first I was 'excited' that she wrote me back. (A lot of the people on the reservation cannot speak or write English, I guess.) Well after a while, it got to be 'can you send this', or 'someones' birthday is coming up'... ??? Not: 'thank you for the sweater you sent for my grandson. I gave it to them and it fits him good' no word of the box I just sent. A SIMPLE THANK YOU goes a long way. Well I just sent a box recently with a bunch of clothes for her grandson, a winter coat, some socks... a few food items. I just got a letter back.... and she wants cupcake liners, and her grandson and granddaughters birthdays are both this month... ???? Hello. Did you get the box I sent? I mean I know it isn't *much* (actually, I thought it was a lot...) but.... It cost a lot of money to send the box. (My husband wasn't really happy about that, either. We have three kids to take care of, and spending money on someone else is just not his 'cup of tea'.) Is it just me? I mean, I am not doing this for a thank you. I am doing it to try to help out; but when it gets to be 'can you send this, and so and so's birthday is coming up, and whatever you can send would be great', but no word of thanks for what I HAVE done.... I kind of feel totally unappreciated. It isn't as if we have money coming out of our ears, either. Does this person sound ungrateful to you? Is it just me? Sigh.... (Don't get me started on liars...) :P


Mimi said...

I feel sorry for you Tina. It isn't you, but its them with a problem about receiving. I would bet that they don't know how to give, that's why they don't know how to receive either. Its their loss. Its a learning experience for you, as well as for them (if they choose to be better persons).
My own sister (the older one) is like that. She has not changed through the years...Of course she politely says thank you for gifts, but never did she give praise or positive feedback for my handmades. And when I give her used clothes, which are of good quality that I saved for her son (who is younger than my son), I don't feel appreciated for it.

Tina said...

The clothes I sent to her were from my son, used. But still in very good condition. My sister in law sends me things with holes in them (some of them), but I still appreciate that she sent me clothes for the boys. Some of them are in good shape. And the ones with holes they use for play clothes. (Not the same SIL who didn't appreciate the vest, although it is her sister...)

I wrote her a letter today; and said something to the effect that I send her things because I want to help, and that we don't have a lot of money, either. I don't know if she will *get* it, but I have decided not to send her anything else, anyway. Well I guess we live and learn...

Thank you, Mimi. :)